‘Hello, and welcome to a practical introduction to how to not get horribly killed. I have, before, received complaints urging me to change this introduction. I have ignored them before, and I will ignore them again.’
Two figures are drawn on a slate with colourful chalk sticks, and presented to the class. One of them is on fire.
‘This is a wizard who has cast one too many fire spells, and their intended target. Can anyone tell me which is which?’
‘I see some of you are overcome with a bit of giggles. Good. Now that you are properly prepared, we will be proceeding down to the funary room, where we will be viewing the body of Sir Martin von Shrulnville. Those of you who have not had breakfast, may find yourselves the most fortunate.’